I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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