So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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