i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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