I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
