It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
