so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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