I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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