Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
