My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize