need another drink. this is the easiest way
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
