omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
