I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
