woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
