im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
