I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
