just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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