yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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