It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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