Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
