You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
