I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
