why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
