ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
