She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
