i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
