Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
