My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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