Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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