just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
