party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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