It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
