u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
