I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
