Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
