I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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