ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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