The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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