This girl is more easily done than said...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
