the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
