I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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