sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize