At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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