I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
