haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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