At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
