it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The air taste purple.
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