I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
