Cold hands, warm shart.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
