Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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