I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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