You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
