i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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