He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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