Well apparently he's into motor boating.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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