This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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