come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
