So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My pussy is not your playground.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
