Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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