Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
