Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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